It's a Good Thing

How is it the middle of June and I haven't written a blog in more than a month? Impossible!

Not really. Having been in semi-isolation for a while, the sun has brought me back out to play.

Taking a more active role in caring for my great-niece has filled many wonderful hours; it is amazing how easily involved I can get in caring for a baby again. Problem is I get immersed; there does not seem to be any middle ground. But I love it and my family puts up with it, so all is good.

I truly understand now, though, how adopting a baby is really not at all much different than birthing one. Granted, there are the physical manifestations of birth, but the love that occurs can be just as strong. I don't think I fully understood it until I held little Vanessa in my arms and she was put into my care for the first time. Sure, some of the anxiety of caring for a baby rose up, but the outpouring of love was huge and has affected so many other parts of my relationship life. All you adoptive parents out there: You totally rock!!!!

Slowing down has been helpful in regaining my balance; I had burned myself out on winter musical events and as wonderful as they were, I received a nice wake-up call. My house concerts are extremely important to me, but I don't have to say yes to every artist who contacts me to have a show, no matter how hard that is for me to do. I have decided to have fewer concerts, some at new locations, and really savor each experience instead of only thinking of the one that comes next. Some of these events will be entirely private events, which will make them even more special, bringing in new folks to the folk fold.

Reconnecting with family close and far has also kept me busy; realizing that as much as I love socializing with friends that my family needs to come first sometimes. That has been joyous in the simplicity of the notion. The time spent with my kids, my husband, little Vanessa, and others has taken priority over any idea that I needed to be out and about and on the scene, as it were. Maybe it is age, or maybe my neurofeedback is really kicking in, calming me to the point where I am more satisfied with the way things are every day.

The internet is an amazing tool for bringing people together; today, I am "friends" with my cousin, Stephanie K., who lives in Germany. I have never met Stephanie, as she was born after my last visit to Germany, which was in 1974. Last year, she became the mother of Leni. It was then that I knew not another year could go by without going to see my family; this August, we will be meeting up with my Uncle Hans and Tante Christine in Munich for the first time in 37 years. I'm very nervous, mostly because I know it will be an emotional time, but still super excited to be repaving a path to connect anew with this distant family. I know it would make my mother happy.

Birthdays have come and gone; there are so many Geminis in my life and we are celebrating heartily this month. My father, me, my daughter, closest friends. All happy to still be of this earth and a year older. Doesn't get much better than that.

Building a patio in the back yard, a slow process, especially because we had so much rain at the beginning of the project. Friends and relatives have been helping and it makes me happy to know that this is a "community" project and that folks will be joining us for BBQs and shrimp boils knowing that they have a stone in the foundation.

One of the things I have had a lot of fun on is a page on Facebook dedicated to growing up in Woodbridge, VA, in the 1970s. I had been worrying deeply that my memory was slipping, and yes, short-term things are not so good, but this page has opened up so many old memories. I find myself reading about things I thought I had forgotten and actually laughing out loud.

Seeing where folks are now in their lives is very cool; we've lost a lot of folks along the way, but it seems we are mostly in a good place. Even something as simple as remembering the dirt road with deep ruts where it was a challenge to get your car through without damage brings a smile. Tears come when you hear of someone's death. But the laughs are more and even surprise that some of us have lasted this long.

I've discovered new places to eat owned by folks from that area, found out that I missed out on some really great adventures--like visiting graveyards or old crypt sites. The hairs on the back of my neck go up reading those entries, but we were kids; we thought we were invincible and immortal. But sometimes I was just too scared.

I am so thankful for the opportunity to open up new doors of communication and share in our precious memories of growing up in a time of few electronics, much more outside time, racing around in cars, sneaking into the drive-in, playing in drain pipes and getting the bejesus scared out of us, long walks down dusty roads, buying candy at the corner store. We've all gotten older. But we all realize what a good time we had back in the 'hood. Those experiences have made us who we are today.

This summer has started with a bang; Elliott is now a seventh grader. We celebrated my daughter's birthday on Monday with a family dinner. Love those guys! Went sailing the next day with E and some of his friends. Gorgeously wonderful day with great wind and the beach was perfect for their explorations! Got home early the next morning, and, on three hours' sleep, got in a car with my daughter and her sister-in-law and set off for Virginia Beach. Made a new friend and had the perfect beach day. Got my first burn of the year, even with sunscreen. Ooops! The day could not have been much better; well, only if beach boys were serving those fruity drinks with umbrellas in them!!!

Going camping at a music festival with some girlfriends this weekend; so looking forward to just kicking back and hearing some of my faves play (Beaucoup Blue) and meeting lots of new music-loving people. Thankful for my friends who are willing to accompany me on this adventure.

So, even though the new year started out on the quiet side, it did give me time for reflection and introspection. I needed it, obviously, and have been savoring that time in a new way. Some people become afraid by being "depressed" and "down," but if it leads to a new awareness, then I will continue to welcome those times and open the doors to what they may bring.

I hope your day is like the blossom of a flower, opening to the day unafraid and free.